


He Cries

by StormyBear30



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-27
Updated: 2011-07-27
Packaged: 2017-10-21 19:44:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/229034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyBear30/pseuds/StormyBear30





	He Cries

He cries when they leave. He doesn’t think that I know that…but I do. It’s amazing the man that he has turned into…the man that I have loved with an undying passion from the first moment that I laid eyes on him. We have come a long way the two of us. Have had our share of ups and down…our highs and lows. We have tried to stay apart…tried like hell to fight the unwavering connection that has always been present between us…but we can’t. We have given our love to others in hopes that we could move past the bond that exists…but it has been in vain. He is my heart…he is my soul…he is my entire universe and despite all that I have tried to do to severe the ties that bind…he will be for always. I don’t think that he truly realizes the extent of my love for him…but it is a guilty pleasure that I keep locked deep within my heart. I could never have imagined being where we are today and yet here we are in live and vibrant color. I cherish every moment that we are together and curse every moment that we are not. I refuse to think about a life where he is not in it…even though death’s evil hand will touch upon us eventually. However…I refuse to give up the fight so easily. Death has visited the two of us before…but we fought to see the gloriousness of another day. Drug and alcohol abuse…HIV scares and thwarted suicide attempts…each time death was present and yet the bound that is the two of us prevailed. I like to think that together we can live forever…but then I look in the mirror and see the battle scars of my youth and reality quickly sets in.

It’s only been four years…four years before we came to our senses and allowed the forever love ingrained within our hearts to lead us to where we should have always been. It has been four years of happy and sad times…births and deaths…fighting only to forgive and forget once we realize our stupidity. I know every inch of his beautiful body and he knows mine as well. I know what makes him purr like a soft and cuddly kitten and makes him roar like a ferocious and unsalvageable tiger. He can make me cry like a new born babe with his words of love and affection…and cry out loud enough to wake the dead when he makes love to the body that will never get enough of him.

We met during the season of our childhood and as the horizon of our autumn years looms ahead of us…for once I can’t help but smile. I have always feared aging…always feared the after effects of growing old…but with him I cherish ever line…bag and wrinkle. He loves me. He loves me for who I am…the person that I am inside…refusing to take in the appearance of the outside me. Even in his fortieth year he looks as beautiful and youthful as he did on that fateful day in nineteen eighty-two when our lives crossed paths for the first time. I long to grow old with him. Long to watch together as our children grow from the young adults they are today into their approaching adulthood. I long for the day when our children have children of their own as the two of us spoil them rotten like good grandparents do. I long to grow old with this man…enjoying our aging years doing what ever the hell we please…because we have earned it. Yes…we will be together forever…forever even into the afterlife for no cosmic force can ever tear us part.

“Hey…” I whisper as I pad barefooted into the living room where he sits all alone.

“Hey…” he responds sadly…not looking up at me as he continues to stare at the front door. “You done writing” he speaks again…finally pulling his eyes from where they have rested since Melanie and Lindsey came to retrieve the children that he and I conceived with the two of them out of love three and six years ago.

“For tonight” I reply softly…falling onto the couch next to him…smiling as he places his arms tightly around me. “Come on…lets go to bed” I whisper against his ear…smiling to myself at the shudder that runs through his body.

“But it’s only eight o’clock” he whines…wiping quickly at his eyes before casting them up at me. My own shudder blazes down my spine at the amount of love and pure lust that radiates so clearly from them. “It’s to early to go to sleep” his protests of pretend continue…stopping short as I straddle his lap and lean my forehead against his own. It is a tradition we have shared for a far back as I can remember…one that only takes place between the two of us. It is one that takes away my fear…my pain and brings me to greatest joys possible…all rolled into one.

“There are other things that we can do in bed at eight o’clock in the evening other then sleep” I tease gently as I lick playfully at his fully pouting lips.

“Like what” he feigns innocence…but I am not fooled at the stirring I feel beneath me.

“Follow me and find out love boy” I growl with my own lust filled reply as I remove myself from his lap. I don’t have to repeat myself as he lunges off of the couch…grabbing onto my hand as be breezes past me as he literally jerks me into the bedroom we have shared for the last four years of our lives. Our lovemaking is slow and sensual…quick and powerful and as always with the greatest amount of pleasure provided between the two of us. I love the way that he treasures my body…love the way that he tunes it like a fine instrument until I feel that I may go mad from the experience of it all. He loves to tease me…loves to playfully torture me until the fires within my loins consume me wholly. With his hands…his mouth…his entire being he can bring me to such heights as I have never experienced before and prepare to never experience again…only to be proven wrong time and time again. I savor the scent that surrounds him after another wondrous bout of lovemaking as I inhale it deeply within very lungs as if it alone were my life’s saving breath.

“I love you” I whisper tenderly against his brow…placing a loving kiss upon it before sliding my way out of our bed. I know that sleep will aloud me for many hours to come as I catch one final glimpse of my slumbering love before I pull on my comforting old robe and make my way towards my computer desk located on the other side of the room. Sitting upon my chair…I pull my knees into my chest…gathering the notebook I have been scribbling in for almost a year now as I turn back to the last entry. Twisting the chair around I face him. A smile once again graces my face as I study the long and lean lines of his compact body…study the rise and fall of his chest…listen to the shallow sounds of his breathing. It is an almost nightly ritual…a mantra if you will for the sights and the sounds bring complete and calming comfort into my normally frenzied life. He is my muse…my creature of creativity and yet after all these years he is none the wiser.

He is my rock…my foundation…the one that pushes away the doubt and uncertainty that constantly surrounds me. He the reason that we are here…because if not for him and his persistent ways I doubt we would be where we are today. He brought me back from the pits of hell during the days of my young adulthood. He proved to me that I was worthy of receiving love…and also capable of bestowing it to others. If not for him I would never have formed the life long bond with my son… and his daughter because now it is a bond that I would rather die for then lose again. He is the one that forced me to reevaluate my life and what I wanted from it…forced me to take the chances that I was never willing to take in the past and it has been the greatest decision of my life…besides loving him. It was a huge decision to leave my position at Gardner Vance Advertising. It was terrifying and exhilarating all rolled into one as I took the plunge into the unknown. I was petrified beyond belief as I began to take the steps needed to fulfill my life long dreams of becoming a writer. No one ever knew that it was my passion…no one knew that from the earliest days of my childhood I had kept a journal of each and every moment important to me in my life…but he knew. I never spoke a word…not even to him…but in a manner that is so like my love he knew before I even had to. He pushed me…he yelled at me…he fought like a wild jungle beast in order for me to wake up and follow my dreams and it is a step I will never regret for always.

It’s been ten years since he forced me to take the risk. Ten years and six novels later and the creativity he inspires in me continues to grow by leaps and bounds. I always figured he would be the writer of our little family…with the success of Rage the comic book…but he never pursued it. Instead he and Justin allowed it to run its course…retiring it with a tearful goodbye as he sold the rights over to some huge comic book company who took his original character nationwide. He cried on the day it became official. He didn’t think that I knew…but I did. What he didn’t know was that I too was affected by the disappearance of Rage from our lives as well. Don’t feel to badly for Michael because it is thanks to Rage and the Rage logo that he know lives the life of the wealthy due to the massive royalties he receives monthly. Our incomes combined is to immense to fathom…but even without our great wealth I know that together we could live on the amount of love that we hold for each other alone and still live like kings.

“If you keep staring at me like that you are going to give me a complex” I hear him chuckle sleepily…jerking me back into reality since I hadn’t even realized that I was in deed staring at him.

“Well if you weren’t so @#%$ sexy I wouldn’t have to stare” I laugh easily…closing the rat tattered notebook containing my greatest masterpiece as I place it back on the desk behind me.

“So just when are you going to allow me to read this newest work of art” he questions me with a mischievous grin as I snake my way across the bed…pulling him deeply into my arms once I reach him.

“You know the rules” I laugh softly against his ear…nipping playfully at it before leaning my forehead against the only place it will ever belong. “Not until…”

“Not until it’s finished…yeah I know” he teases me lightheartedly as he wraps his arms around my neck kissing me soundly upon lips I hope he never tires of kissing. “I am sure that it will be as brilliant as the others” he assures me…gracing me with one of his patented beautiful Mikey smile.

“It’s my greatest achievement yet Mikey” I whisper lovingly…as we lay forehead to forehead…nose to nose…eye to eye so he can see in perfect clarity the truth of my words. “Because it is all about you and the love that I hold for you…will always hold for you”

“A work of fiction…huh” he snickers…once again placing another kiss upon my lips.

“Autobiographical” I correct him…my own smile covering my face at the look of shock now covering his handsome face. “It’s all about you Mikey” I continue…placing my hands on either sides of his face as I gaze deeply into pooling depths of chocolate. “It’s about my life…our life…but most importantly it is all about you and how you complete me”

“Me…better make it a work of horror then” he tries to play off the truth of my words…but I won’t allow him.

“It is a work of truth and purity” I speak slowly as I try to control the whirlwind of emotions that are beginning to toil deep within me. “It’s the story of our life together…of the bond that brought us to where we are today. It’s about the love that I have for you…the love that I have always had for you. It’s about you Mikey…only you. I want to share with the world…or maybe the few that will read it…just how much you mean to me” I chuckle trying once again to control my spiraling emotions. He doesn’t speak a word as he buries his face within the warm crevice of my neck. I hear the gentle hitch of his breath as he too tries to control the range of emotions within him. All efforts prove futile as he begins to cry silently within the sanctuary of my arms. He doesn’t think that I know…but I do and despite his inability to speak his silent tears speak volumes to me.

“I love you Michael” I whisper with loving truth as I pull him tighter within my embrace…my own tears gliding down my face. I try to force myself to believe that he doesn’t know…but he does…I know that he does. With a content smile I close my tear filled eyes as I allow the blanket of slumber to over take me. “Always have…always will”

The End…


End file.
